Meta Humorist T-Shirts

"Life's sure good as a cartoon cowboy Abe, but dammit... my cartoonist never could figure out how to draw a horse!"

Tesseract of the D'Urbervilles.

"That's just the end of the panel, girl."

"We bring him gifts of gold, frankincense and mercantile mutual hedge fund options."

"They don't appear to want to take over. They just want to dance."

'We seem to have more luck getting people to accept cookies rather than broccoli when they visit websites.'

"It's a 'selfie.'"

Arresting Adam and Eve

"I.T. says these new laptops they gave us come loaded with all the latest viruses."

'Sometimes I scare myself when I realize that I always was and always will be.'

'It's not working because it claims it can think and has decided not to.'

Better Living Through Technology

Three-way mirror

The national cartoonists' speech-bubble strike enters its 2nd week...

"You're the only one in this department who has survived the staff cuts. I can only advise you to do your job well, otherwise I'll have to fire you too, got that?"

Dion hires an image consultant: Ineresting. Now let's try Western and then Hip-Hop.

'I see dumb people wearing 'I see dumb people' shirts.'

'It says I can't access Pharaoh's tablet unless I'm on his buddies list.'

After talking one stranger to death, Velma starts in on the next.

"And now for the 'piece de resistance!'"

I'm not saying he's dumb, but talking to him is like talking to a firewall.

'Excuse me, would you mind...?'

Escaping a desert island

'Grandpa says that, in his day, he had to walk 20 miles in the snow just to steal music.'

'According to this list, this list is ranked #4 on the greatest lists of all time.'

The First Selfie!

"Er, sorry guys. It didn't look this big on instagram!"

He's a statue. I told him not to friend Medusa on Facebook.

"Do you believe me now? Look at him — he poured my water bowl on your head, not me. He drew us. He controls everything!"

What's that? It's my second published book. It's called "The Official Biography of Rudy Park, the Loser Who Allegedly Works at my Local Caf

"Lets take this conversation off line..."

"Welcome to the team, Mr Ware. What did you say your first name was?"

"Wonderful! The back of my head looks exactly like the back of George Clooney's head."

"Really? You told him he's a digitally drawn cartoon that could be deleted at any moment with a single keystroke?"

"Step 10 paces, turn and post your opinion on facebook."