Media Humorist T-Shirts

"I'm gonna boycott twitter. But is it a boycott if I never tweeted before?"

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

"Canadian Mt. ‘Rush’more"

"Gee, thanks pal."

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

"Quick, Lassie, go get I.T.!"

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

"This next one is my own quirky rendition of Berlioz's 'Symphonie Fantastique,' Movement 5, 'Dream of a Witches' Sabbath.'"

"I was going to play the Moonlight Sonata, but I forgot the key."

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

'He doesn't like people walking in - try crawling.'

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"Not now, my love. I'm feeling preminstrel."

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

'I don't think the employees like me.'

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

Elevator Music

"I swear, Mr. Drumpf, I meant it in the best sense of the word." "Mr. Drumpf is a moron."

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

The Phantom Of The Garden

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."

Guitar pickin'

Opera singer singing to her partner who is wearing a gas mask on due to her bad breath.

German School

Plight of Decent-White-Male-Middle Class Scapgoats.

Man with dollar sign on his t-shirt.