Merger Mania Enthusiast T-Shirts

'And I'm happy to say, that since the merger...'

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

'We should buy London and ship it to the States!'

'We divested ourselves of a division here, a subsidiary there, a branch here, an affiliate there...there's nothing left!'

"They've agreed to the merger, the sticking point is who is swallowing who?"

'Uh - oh... this looks like an unfriendly takeover!'

"So far it doesn't look like a hostile takeover."

'There he goes, the bravest M&A knight that our kingdom has ever known.'

'There's a gentleman out here with $643 million. He would like to discuss a takeover.'

'With the firm growing at the speed it has there are bound to be a few problems...'

"Nobody wants to merge with us."

Business Partners' vows

"Anyway, we'd love to have You on board for the Creighton deal."

"I always cry at mergers."

'This has been a test. Had this been an actual corporate takeover...'

"We're a cable giant, you're a cable giant."

For sale

After the Nordstrom-Nordstream Merger

'The buildings are merging.'

Company Share Price - "The god news is we've become a very attractive takeover target, sir."

'How dare you accuse me of sinking this company?'

Teaching evolution in the business schools.

"How does this sound: 'Single, nearly solvent company seeks relationship with like-minded, prosperous multinational.'"

"I've been working remote so long I didn't know my company has been bought and sold three times."

'Just sign your approval for the heliport and we can both go about our business.'

'Our only hope is a merger so we can become too big to fail.'

"Thanks for coming in again. Sorry about the last time. I must have pulled the wrong lever by mistake."

'I hate these non-hostile takeovers...'

"So many acquisitions lately ... should we be worried?"

'Mommy, you'll never guess what. My hi-tech start-up just merged with a Fortune 500 company.'

Corporate urban legends

Microsoft Merger

'Oh, no! We've inadvertently gobbled up our own parent company.'