Merger Aficionado Pillows

'This is Appleby and Jones. They're in Mergers.'

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"Meet the author"

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

Other girl's luxuries are my necessities.

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

'If only every year was an election year.'

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

'We divested ourselves of a division here, a subsidiary there, a branch here, an affiliate there...there's nothing left!'

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

Driverless cars rage.

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

"I fear one day our jobs will be taken over by technology."

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

"They've agreed to the merger, the sticking point is who is swallowing who?"

"But if you change your system preferences to match mine, is it really love?"

"What did you download at school today?"

"He's the best our AI recruitment algorithm could fund, unfortunately our AI is really stupid."

"Ralph's smart car not only drives better than he does, it also works better. So we fired him and hired the car."

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

Bot Art: After da Vinci

'Yes, it computed the answer in a bilionth of a second and printed it instantly, but until I find my glasses...'

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

"Of course I failed you — your essay was original and unique and obviously written by a human."

"Your feelings may be artificial, but that doesn't mean they're not real."