Merchandise Critic Pillows

Rejected Spider-man lunchbox ideas

Polluted geese

'Amazing! We truly do live in a classless society.'

'Dang, you were right! It is formal!'

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

"That shirt is so last year."

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

"This is a big seller, and we get them cheap...from China."

Workout clothes: 'One size fits none.'

"These targeted ads are getting out of hand."

'Six years ago you received a complimentary set of steak knives. You thought they were free didn't you Jimmy?...'

"How come in these days of downsizing and lower expectations, all these sneakers come with ridiculously long laces?"

Non-Uniform Day Today.

Pam learned the importance of browser support.

CATCHY NAME

Pre-Winter Ennui-'Hon, did you have the furnace checked?'

"This bedtime story is brought to you by your good friends at the toy shop."

"You're wearing too much rouge."

"And what would the, Truth-in-Advertising tribunal, want to speak to old Rudy about?"

Pizza Special: 5 Pizzas for $50 (Limit 4).

"Your mom's not protesting sex and violence on TV...she's taking a stand against those early Christmas ads..."

"I hope he's wearing pants."

"I see we're split between those who like my new tie, and those who welcome unemployment."

On the catwalk it looked elegant and sexy! What happened?

"No, those people aren't anorexic. Those people are starving."

Seatback in upright position, fasten safety belt, listen closely...prepare to be bombarded with promotional advertising through the rest of the flight!

"Put away the gummy candies and bring out the apples. The kid's mother is our dentist!"

"They put nipples on the mannequins so you'll look at the stupid sweaters. Duh!"

"To be honest, it's the same stuff just in different bottles!"

The Ravages of Time: Marky Mark, circa 2043

Posters of the Sahara