Menu Sleuths Pillows

"Our greatest fears are confirmed, they've taken waffle fries off the menu."

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

"Is the MSG local?"

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

'How is the water prepared?'

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

"What the heck did I do with that leftover turkey?!"

"...I should have seen it coming...The busboys, the waiters, the dishwashers, the maitre d', all stealing shrimp, caviar, lobster, but ah, the strawberries, that's where I had them?"

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

"How 'local' is the fish?"

"How would you like your soy protein, mixed tocopherols and methylcellulose patty?"

"I can't have anything that's a food."

'Today's entrees are the Breast with Thyme, and the Wurst with Thyme.'

'Today's special is yesterday's left-overs.'

'Which are the most popular and least popular items, and which have been on the menu the longest and shortest times?'

"Our menu never claims that our meat is barbecued. It just says that it's covered in barbecue sauce."

"I can highly recommend the peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich, served with a chilled glass of milk."

Horse meat scandal.

'Of course you can't have the chef's salad. What will the chef eat?'

'Police. We have reason to believe you've been hacking into your neighbor's computers and stealing their recipes.'

'It appears that 'reduced fat' means high fat, 'lo-fat' means plenty of fat, and 'fat-free' means some fat.'

'Fish fresh?' 'I don't know I've only been here two weeks .'

"What is this one - 'Two egg surprise'?"

Menu From The Luxury Home of Pancakes

'Don't rush me. I'm adding up the calories!'

Guess Where Your Dinner Is?

'We don't want your business; we just want the recipe.'

CIA Cafeteria: 'It's nice of you to ask, but the recipe is classified.'

"That Pink Slime I keep hearing about; is that a hamburger or the dessert?"

"It's called The Pastry Shop Mystery. A real Whodoughnut."

'You just give me a big tip, Madam.'

"Careful Nora. There's nothing worse than a bad oyster!"