Menu Marvelers Pillows

'No, there isn't any shrimp in the 'Shrimp Surprise' -- It's just called that because it's not all that much of a surprise.'

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

Swiss army knife

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

Party time.

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

'What'll it be?'

"The chef recommends the tilapia. However, I really like the vodka."

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

National Coffee Day

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

"Just so I’m understanding the menu, the ‘Old Forge wheel with rosemary-infused pancetta’ is essentially a $36 Hot Pocket?"

'We're not at home, Stu. You can't just order 'I don't care'.'

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

'Physical or Social Science?'

Cranial-Metal Plate Surgery Centre

'This 'homework,' was it done today?'

"How 'local' is the fish?"

What's the insect de jour?

'Would Sir & Madam per chance care to peruse the scratch & sniff dessert menu?'

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

"I got into the coffee for the wordplay."

A menu with risks and benefits

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'

"Do you have something for somebody with no palette, no taste and no money?"