Menu Marvelers Pillows

'No, there isn't any shrimp in the 'Shrimp Surprise' -- It's just called that because it's not all that much of a surprise.'

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

Swiss army knife

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Party time.

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

'What'll it be?'

"The chef recommends the tilapia. However, I really like the vodka."

National Coffee Day

"Just so I’m understanding the menu, the ‘Old Forge wheel with rosemary-infused pancetta’ is essentially a $36 Hot Pocket?"

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

'We're not at home, Stu. You can't just order 'I don't care'.'

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

'Physical or Social Science?'

'Would Sir & Madam per chance care to peruse the scratch & sniff dessert menu?'

'This 'homework,' was it done today?'

Cranial-Metal Plate Surgery Centre

"How 'local' is the fish?"

What's the insect de jour?

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

"I got into the coffee for the wordplay."

A menu with risks and benefits

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'