Menu Investigator Mugs

"Is the MSG local?"

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

'Men order. . . women shop.'

'Ooo! The dog food sounds good! ... mind you, I always have that at home.'

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

'How is the water prepared?'

"Anything but milk and cookies."

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

'Well, if you're going to order 'left wings' and I'm going to order 'right,' maybe we should just order burgers instead.'

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

Coffee

Coffee Menu

'Whatever he's eating.'

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

'The customer is always right...'

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.

'Hard or soft science?'

"You want organic, we'll make it organic."

"Steak, Richard, is just grown up veal."

Heart Disease Menu

'Cook is a musician. Improvises. Never makes the same thing twice.'

'Are you ready to be patronised yet?'

"Some protein with my salad? Sure, put a 24 ounce Ribeye in it."