Mental Health Milestone Gifts

"I'm worried that I'm the only one who constantly gets anxiety attacks..."

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"Good game."

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'Look, you can only do so much!'

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

Romance

"You've changed."

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

Cardiac Recovery.

"Be careful what you wish for, Bob, because you just might get it. And if it happens to be what I was wishing for, things could get pretty ugly around here."

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

Couples' therapy

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

'Sometimes it's difficult to get their feelings to the surface.'

"But if you change your system preferences to match mine, is it really love?"

Women in bed with her husband reads a book titled 'Sex Stinks'.

'You look gorgeous, honey! I love it when you wear your tentacles 'up'.'

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

"Even though I wasn't always perfect, I feel deep down that I am now."

Sally and Joe's relationship really worked. . . they each had the space to do their own thing.

"I recommend that you two find a way to spice up your shelf life."

"Happy anniversary, dear… 'happy wife, happy life!'" "That's because nothing rhymes with 'happy husband.'"

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

'If you really loved me you would have bought me flowers.'

“I have to warn you - my parents are a bit old-fashioned.”