Menstrual Cycle Navigator T-Shirts

'You want to borrow a tampon?!'

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

"Your contents have shifted."

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

Fear of news.

Middle-aged guy spots an available convertible. The mating ritual begins.

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

'Crisis'

'Unfortunately, there's no cure. It's called growing older.'

"Extra large sanitary pads and extra small ones, pads for the night..."

'You can't fire me! I'm too big to fail!'

'Keep pumping Mildred.'

Made in China.

"Fill'er up with testosterone."

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'

"Looks like he's coming around to our way of thinking."

"Your job will be to make these results look Stellar."

My wife is the inspiration behind the light speed spaceship - the longer I'm married, the more I want to be the first human who lives on Mars.

'He's not the man I married. In fact, none of them are.'

Clair regretted having her husband sit in while her doctor described possible side effects of menopause.

"Give me something that shows I'm hip AND fiscally responsible."

KEEP YOUR FRIENDS CLOSE AND YOUR ENEMIES CLOSER, 'That kind of thinking leads to marriage.'

"O.K., but what I'm about to tell you does not leave this news cycle."

Middle age anxiety about leaving the house.

Doctor Tries to Explain Breast Feeding

'Everyone does divorces, Mrs.Dawson.'

'We blow hot and cold. He argues it's too hot and I say it's too cold.'

Boom and Bust

"Honey, wake up! I just remembered something you did that annoyed the hell out of me!"

"You have superior extra ocular muscle strength - how often do you roll your eyes at your husband?"

"I used to be innocent. Then I was naive. Now I'm just dumb."

Ben Bernanke says no recession yet.