
"This is what I use for social media."
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"This is what I use for social media."
Polly txt speak
"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."
Moses separating his Laundry.
Moses on the web
If a bunch of crazy red headed clowns come out that door...Run like you've never ran before!
"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."
"What does it mean? Heck, I don't know! It's mystifying!"
"Honey, I don't want to hide anything from you. I collect pictures of cats in my spare time."
"OMG, LOL!"
Weird things I do because of the internet
"Textin’"
I crawled out of a toilet and ate a guy. Say my name 3 times in a mirror. I dare you. No one suspects I'm Slenderman. She took me home. Then she woke up in a tub of ice missing a kidney. Urban Legends-in-Their-Own-Minds.
Moo Out Loud
"I've given up on the novel. There's more money in writing inspirational memes."
"I didn't say my dog ate my homework. I said Russian bots ate my homework."
"The only problem with living at the top of a mountain is the constant stream of people coming to ask stupid questions."
Twitter censorship
Leonardo Da Vinci paints a selfie
"That's the trouble with cute kittens - they attract a lot of traffic."
When you said the cat was hacking down here, I assumed you meant a hairball.
"Tinnitus?"
Sistine Selfie
'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'
"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."
"He really hates all the fake news!!"
"It drives me MAD when people act as though we've nothing to do except write moronic memorandum."
Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!
"Should we take pics of our feed for Instagram?"
"My instagram feed is basically people, dog food, and tennis balls."
"Can you take a video of me attacking the garbage so I can post it on Instagram?"
'I hate it when I have to talk on my phone.'
Buzzfeed does The Bible: 10 commandments that will blow your mind.
Dinosaur Group Think
"My Twitter account isn't too interesting. It's mostly just a bunch of threats."
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