Melody Maker Gifts

Things that bands can do

"This next one is a typical blues number about exceeding your data plan limit, cracking your ipad screen, and losing your new ear buds."

"These keys seem vaguely familiar."

The Music of Life (in the key of dna).

"It's the downstairs neighbors again-they say you're technically proficient, but there's not enough emotion."

"Dude, I figured out why your solos sound so bad - that thing's actually a bass."

Violinist.

'I don't understand that 'C' in music. I sing louder than anyone else.'

I love Music.

'This next song is about a close call and a near success. It's called The Grant that Got Away.'

'Guys, could we try a different inversion?...Guys?'

'This one writes some fine lyrics, and the other one has composed some beautiful music, but they just done't seem to hit it off as collaborators.'

It was the bottom of the ninth and the bassists were loaded. O

Rick decides to save his real lyrics for when someone is actually listening.

Blues artis's daily list

"This is my own arrangement...of a song I wrote...about me."

Pile of Music Notes

Choirmaster conducting, with one hand over a choirboy's mouth.

Music ideas/inspiration.

One Man Band.

Six jazz instruments.

Leonard Cohen.

Johann Strauss II

'That's a bit better. Persistence pays off - although, not as well as it did when I was your age.'

'Here's one I didn't write... I never learned... and can't play.'

French Horn Microphones

"Great melody!...I don't know how you do it!"

'Yeah, well I'm sick of being so danged happy all the time.'

Ludwig Van Beethoven

'You haven't heard anything yet!'

(Singing) 'Doctor, what's wrong with me?' 'Staff in-fec-tion.'

"Yeah, that's right...ignore me, pal! You don't want an instrument of my excellence and awesomeness that would instantly make you a chick magnet and the envy of all your friends!..."

Learn Guitar In 6 Easy Lessons: Add another fifty difficult ones!

"Ye gods! Not another tedious and derivative top ten single!"

"I'm the only sane artist in the world."