Meeting Muffle Enthusiast Pillows

People at a meeting passing around cotton wool for their ears.

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

"Oh, Jeff, you swore this wasn't a podcast."

"Let's save a few so we can continue to piss off the neighbors for the next few weeks."

'Before we start, shall we go round the table, and each share our name and a horrible dark secret from our past.'

"That's six 'noes' and one 'aye', the ayes have it"

"Tong!"

Artist and Musician

'You'll enjoy our staff meetings. We always begin and end with the product.'

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

'Anyone who opposes the plan I'm about to propose please signify by saying 'I resign.''

'Congratulations, Yomp - we're giving you a bigger carrot!'

'Ms. Snack, prepare the conference room for an executive sting.'

'He likes a room where he can reverberate.'

"And, while there's no reason yet to panic, I think it only prudent that we make preparations to panic."

'We need to change the introduction to our annual report. What's another word for bankrupt?'

Responsibility and duties

Conference Pears

"Next meeting back to paper. Everyone missed doodle."

"Unlike other companies, we are going to take the high road through this rough time, even if, at some point, we're obliged to raid the employee pension fund! Is everybody clear on that?"

'Thanks for flying in for the meeting.'

"That's Arnie, our resident meeting moth. He doesn't have an office... Just flits all day from one meeting to another. And be careful: he's got a thing for wool!"

'I meet therefore I MANAGE.'

"Not the most impressive strategic plan I've ever seen."

'Who's pumped about this meeting?!'

'Double Dannys': Danny Baker and Danny Kelly.

'That's it gentlemen, we're broke. Anybody know any good jokes?'