Meeting Escape Artist Gifts

I survived another Monday morning meeting. Oh, come on. It's not that bad.

'The management look forward to hearing your thoughts on our exponential strategy for organic enlargement.'

"Sorry, I'm preaching again. Why don't we pause for a moment while I pass around the collection plate."

"I'm taking you off of the Henderson account and putting you into this steel drum."

"Do you have a minute? And then another minute, and another..."

"Well I hope that gives you a flavour of what the work is about...any questions?"

Apathy International - "Sod this for a lark"

Henderson will now bumble his way through yet another boring lecture...

'It's late Friday. Anyone object if we wrap up a bit early?'

'The only part of the job I don't like is that they celebrate 'bring yourself to work day' five times a week.'

"Let's go around the room and say what we should be doing other than sitting in this meeting."

"I've found that falling face first into my plate and snoring loudly is effective in ending a long lunch meeting."

'Gentlemen, today's meeting will be short, so I'll get right to the point.'

'The quicker we get through our agenda, the sooner we get to our poker game.'

"It doesn't do you any good being depressed about your job, because you're stuck doing it for the rest of your life."

'Now let's stop clowning around.'

'I'm working on the report for the third quarter as we speak.'

A quick escape from a business meeting.

'Good news... I got the venue changed to Florida.'

"I suggest we take lunch before I read the rest of it."

'As usual, I'm right on time. My internal alarm clock always wakes me just as theses meetings are over.'

'Was there any further criticism om my proposal?'

'I have your recent appraisal here...it seems that after everything is said and done...there's more being said than done.'

The Boss: 'Cancel all my meetings! I'll be on golf leave until my retirement.'

"I hate going into a staff meeting without a clear exit strategy."

"Tom has put himself into a self-induced coma. It's his way of getting through these boring meetings."

"I found a way to practice my casting, while waking people up who fall asleep during my meetings."

"Just as I thought!...Trying to look busy by shredding plain paper!"

"It's safe to close your eyes and relax...these meetings are safety equipped with front and side airbags."

"My ringtone sounds like snoring, so I can keep my phone on during these meetings."

Job Bored

"Is there any OTHER any other business?"

"...And this is the button you press if I find myself in a tricky situation in a meeting."

Chairmen of the Bored

"I'd like to point out yet again...there is no napping in meetings."