Mediums Pillows

"Your husband is telling you not to come here anymore because, 'this so-called spiritualist is a phoney'!"

"I now offer DVR service for clients for want to see their future later."

"I'm having trouble summoning your deceased wife."

Trial by Media

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

Occu-Pie Mars

In the Guru District

Squeezing the Free Press.

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

The Environmentalist

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

"National security adviser"

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

'If only every year was an election year.'

If nobody had invented graphics

"See..? We told you there was nothing there..."

Gay Times...

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

Donald Trump Playing Golf With Hair On Fire

Meet the Enemy

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

Cord cutter

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

Florida Governor, Rick Scott, cuts funding for rape victims.

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"