Medieval Bard T-Shirts

Mandoline and birthday presents

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

Knight Golfing

'OK, so I fumbled. Now can you cure it or not?'

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

"What the hell took so long?"

"Early model of baggage claim"

Missing You.

"Our focus group will butcher your focus group."

The Beard in the Stone

"He just found that 'pillage' rhymes with 'village'."

Baseball batting cage theater La Cage Aux Folles.

They loved the presentation on competing in the marketplace.

'MUM, go and get Daddy, there's another knight coming: This is so much fun!'

The Predictable Demise of Sir Textalot.

Before putting on your armor...always check for mice!

Ale. Mead. It's been a hard knight's day!

'A message from the Vikings, sire. It says, 'we've got spirit! Yes, we do! We've got spirit! How about you!?'

"To begin with, I would like to express my sincere thanks and deep appreciation for the opportunity to meet with you. While there are still profound differences between us, I think the very fact of my presence here today is a major breakthrough."

'Henry, we can't begin to make progress unless your friend leaves the room.'

When cockroaches go unchecked.

Viking sitting patiently while his wife winds her wool on his helmets horns to sort it out.

"Say! While I'm off in the Holy Land, why don't you find a little crusade of some kind that interests you?"

"But I use all of them!"

Oh, the armor is state of the art

'He'll stop being so smug when he gets his first dent.'

"It appears to be a giant boil, sire."

Don't tell my wife. Dragon head.

Knights of the Square Table.

"The interest rate can't go any lower, so if necessary, we'll have to go back to pounds of flesh."

"You fools! That's not the boiling oil, that's my beef casserole!"

"Never gonna give thou up -- Never gonna let thou down -- Never gonna run around and desert thouuuuuu."