Medication Muncher Pillows

"I'm out of purple pills. Can I take 1 blue and 1 red instead?"

Movie Awards. Winner. It's been a big night for Ernie! He won three times at the movie-set caterer awards! On one set he made a healthy, refreshing beverage that received rave reviews from the cast and crew. He won the "best pitcher" award for it. Did they say he won for best costumes? No, his dressings won. His sticky buns won also. For "best leading roll" performance, right? No, for best "cinnamontography"!

"Your moon is in the House of Pancakes."

'I see you're hacking the fridge again.'

"I just spoon-fed the media a pound of really old salmon."

"That's a zombie, alright. But he's the worst kind. He doesn't eat brains, he eats data."

'You know, I could really go for a wafer-thin mint.'

'Hello, yes, I'd like to order 200 packs of the sweets you can eat between meals.'

Pizza and Related Searches.

"I read the Tibetan Book of the Dead, but I wasn't Enlightened. . . but I did get the munchies."

"They're sound bites."

A vampire using ground pepper on his new victim.

Theater Usher Moms.

"When you came down for a snack last night, did you see a plate of dog food in here?"

'OK, remain calm. Who's missing? Milk? Eggs? Cheese? Where'd they go? How much do they know? And will they talk?'

"Hang on - this one's a Malteser!!"

"Of course, he always says it's not fit for consumption. He's a foodie."

'Are you a hypochondriac who has everything but your regular placebo isn't doing the job? Talk to your doctor about the new extra-strength placebo.'

"The food must be good here. Look at the drool on the menus."

'Wait! Tell me again about the 'excessive gas and oily discharge'?'

Motivation

'Any side effects of these sleeping pills?'

"I can't...I mustn't...I shouldn't...I needn't....but I will."

'It's ten o'clock. Do you know where your willpower is?'

'Whoa! Our waiter's online and you should see what he's saying about your tip!'

'Keep your eye on the ball, Jake! Level swing! Rotate your hips! ... and ease up on the sunflower seeds!'

"Yeah, it's so much better than the Jung-and-Run over on 7th."

Yes, I know it's only been three hours - I'm a fast faster!

Our menu is legendary. Really? Do you serve leg of Sasquatch? That's my favorite legend! Menu.

'Let's get these bite-size snacks to have with our bite-size news.'

Man eating 'after work mints'

"It appears it's middle was licked out."

'I'm highly motivated to diet. Unfortunately I'm more motivated to eat.'

'C'mon, Bill, LOOK at the evidence! A fabulous home-made crust, fresh apples, raisins, gourmet vanilla ice cream, and no sign of a struggle. This guy was definitely killed by kindness!'

'Stop calling us monsters already. We're comfort eaters!'