Medical Scientist Pillows

'I'm afraid it's one of those new superbugs.'

"Ok, now randomly alternate vowels and consonants and we got a name for our new drug."

Pharmaceutical Co - Naming Division.

Scientist discover a new superbug

Clinical Trails. . . Prevention . . . Detection. . . Diagnosis. . . Treatment.

"Of course it's necessary technology! We need machines to test the machines that test you!"

"Okay, Jaxcsunn, stay still in the crystal circle while I douse you in essential oils."

'What I really hate is preventive medicine. The go after us before we even do anything.'

MRSA Guide to hospital.

"Your dating profile says that you work in a laboratory. Are you a scientist?"

Platelets

Antibiotics versus probiotics: A battle of wills.

'My favorites are Leeuwenhoek, who proved we exist, and Pasteur, who showed the world we have some clout.'

'The gene therapy we used is our intellectual property, so we had you copyrighted.'

"When gene therapy goes awry..."

"That new antibiotic seems to be working. Time to evolve again."

Woman in hospital: Pick up a leaflet, Pick up a bug.

'The antidepressant failed preliminary testing. I still hate working here.'

"We still don't understand how this happened. You were with the placebo control group."

'Congratulations! He hasn't got MRSA.'

'We've successfully harvested stem cells from a 75 year old man.'

"Obesity is neither contagious or genetic, and yet, it is passed on, from parents to children."

"You really have a great sense of tumor."

"Why is it always science? When I die, I want to donate my body to the arts."

"We know how much we know about the brain but not how much we don't know."

'Well, now that you've found a cure, all our funding will be sent to another division.'

'This is wonderful - a completely dust-free lab. What do you study here?'

'Louis Pasteur, after discovering that microbes transmitted disease, experimented with methods for killing them'

"These grapes are a bit funny."

'Fortunately, it's only Man C.Difficile...'

After decades of research, Prof. Lorenzen finally found a way to stop ageing.

'I was skeptical at first, but it really works.'

"Deaf mice have been cured by gene therapy."

August, 1897 - Arthur Eichengrun invents aspirin.

Institute of Infectious Diseases