Medical Scientist Pillows

'I'm afraid it's one of those new superbugs.'

Pharmaceutical Co - Naming Division.

"Ok, now randomly alternate vowels and consonants and we got a name for our new drug."

Scientist discover a new superbug

Clinical Trails. . . Prevention . . . Detection. . . Diagnosis. . . Treatment.

"Of course it's necessary technology! We need machines to test the machines that test you!"

"Okay, Jaxcsunn, stay still in the crystal circle while I douse you in essential oils."

MRSA Guide to hospital.

'What I really hate is preventive medicine. The go after us before we even do anything.'

"Your dating profile says that you work in a laboratory. Are you a scientist?"

Platelets

Antibiotics versus probiotics: A battle of wills.

"When gene therapy goes awry..."

'The gene therapy we used is our intellectual property, so we had you copyrighted.'

"That new antibiotic seems to be working. Time to evolve again."

'My favorites are Leeuwenhoek, who proved we exist, and Pasteur, who showed the world we have some clout.'

"We still don't understand how this happened. You were with the placebo control group."

'The antidepressant failed preliminary testing. I still hate working here.'

'Congratulations! He hasn't got MRSA.'

Woman in hospital: Pick up a leaflet, Pick up a bug.

'We've successfully harvested stem cells from a 75 year old man.'

"Obesity is neither contagious or genetic, and yet, it is passed on, from parents to children."

'This is wonderful - a completely dust-free lab. What do you study here?'

'The bad news is you've got something no one's ever heard of...the good news is we're naming it after you!'

'Louis Pasteur, after discovering that microbes transmitted disease, experimented with methods for killing them'

'Fortunately, it's only Man C.Difficile...'

"These grapes are a bit funny."

Institute of Infectious Diseases

'Well, now that you've found a cure, all our funding will be sent to another division.'

August, 1897 - Arthur Eichengrun invents aspirin.

"We know how much we know about the brain but not how much we don't know."

"Why is it always science? When I die, I want to donate my body to the arts."

After decades of research, Prof. Lorenzen finally found a way to stop ageing.

'I was skeptical at first, but it really works.'

"You really have a great sense of tumor."