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Hospital admissions: 1st and 2nd opinions.

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

London GPs could become an endangered species.

"The doctor was more lucid today! That's a good sign!"

'We're playing doctor ??" Billy's the anesthetist.'

"Fruity nose, hints of wild cherry, soothing on the palate, goes well with cough and cold."

'Any chance of me being recycled Doc?'

'You want a nurse present? -- Are you discriminating against me because of my gender?'

"Ah, the waiter ... And I was beginning to wonder if we really existed!"

'If you begin to feel unwell, start or stop taking aspirin...'

Euthanasia Clinic

Too much Inflammation

'Excuse me, Professor Hippocrates...but when do we learn how to hit out of bunkers?'

Anatomy.

"Take 4 teaspoons of this medicine every day. . ."

'Eve ate the apple, and she's asking if you want to make it two out of three with oranges and bananas?'

"Uh-Oh!"

NHS targets

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

'Your prescription is ready. How would you like to finance it?'

"And if the golf area of the brain was somehow destroyed, there might be a little something extra in it for you."

"In order to get through this, I've had to find an inner strength that I never knew I had in the medicine cabinet."

"Are you sure you don't want to try just one miracle drug before you die?"

'We've not met, but I'm your keyhole surgeon.'

'He's testing my Hippocratic Oath. He wors for the IRS.'

"Look on the dark side."

Prozac, Lexapro and Lithium.

"I hear they can freeze you until they discover a cure."

Myth Diagnosis

'I had a taste of my own medicine yesterday - Yuck!'

'Take two a day and in a couple of years you'll be a pharmacist!'

"This may be the beer, Zoloft, Rogaine, Cialis and Avapro talking ... but I feel weird."