Medical Miscommunication Fan Prints

'Advanced access' isn't REALLY about you booking an appointment in advance of having anything wrong with you!

Your test results came back, Mr. Fusco. By the way, I can never remember: is "positive" a good thing or a bad thing? ! !

"We weren't told you had a sick note."

'When I asked if she was critical I didn't mean verbally!'

"No, a dressing down day isn't an opportunity to bollock the staff."

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

"When you promised me 'a set of wheels', I assumed a company car."

'There are some things they don't teach you in medical school. I think you've got one of those things.'

'I meant bring your fishing tackle.'

"Elective surgery? But I'm not even registered to vote!"

"Take two of these and call my answering service in the morning."

"Excuse me, but it's GREG, Greg Chalmers."

Sewing Machines in Surgery

"I thought you said you were dating a rich doctor!"

"See? Right there - my wedding ring."

"When you said you were taking me south on vacation I assumed you meant to the tropics."

Sling

'I could have sworn you asked if I wanted to go to the saloon.'

"No, what I said was we need more stakeholders."

Broken legs and broken nose in the hospital.

'ARRRGH you idiot,you idiot!!' 'When i said take the Don out, i MEANT for lunch!!' (a stupid mob guy kills the boss)

"There's a man at the door with a wooden leg."

Shoot...not literally, of course.

'Chapman, you misunderstood what I said about the Clark account. I said mull it over.'

"Just wanted to make sure you said no mayo that way I'll know to give you extra."

'You're just going to feel a little pinch, then a horrific burning pain, your eyes will roll back into your head, you will drool uncontrollably...'

The Embarrassment of Van Gogh

'Your chart here says you've had some sort of allergic reaction to frogs' legs...can you be more specific?'

'I did not call you a 'bar fly'! I said; 'I'll be back, briefly'.'

"Perhaps I should clarify. When I said to drink plenty of fluids ..."

'I said Mascarpone not Mask A Pony!'

Yes, by all means, Mr. Fusco, feel free to seek out a second opinion

"My mistake Guvnor - I thought you said CRAP circles!"

"I'm not sure you see my point of view..." "From down here I'd say that's probably true!"

"You said you wanted an Easter-related present."