Medical Insurance Agent T-Shirts

"We're borrowing the best features of the Canadian system."

'Here he comes to save the day. . .'

Workers & Health Costs

'Sorry, our HMO doesn't approve treatments of 'owies'.'

'This could be a very expensive operation — I'm going to refer you to the Federal Government.'

'You'll never live to regret it!'

'I monitor healthcare coverage changes hot off the wire.'

'I had to co-pay for the bagel.'

New and Improved Caduceus

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

'But he qualifies for medicare in dog years.'

'I asked if you were affiliated with an HMO not a UFO.'

"I need a holiday that guarantees perfect weather, good beaches and romance!"

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

Obama Healthcare.

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

"Do Mr. Reaper, do you have health insurance?"

"You have a co-pay...two cookies and a glass of milk."

"You'll feel a pinch now and another one when the bill comes."

'A 10M bonus for your thoughts.'

'The doctors all tell me that you have great medical insurance. They think your coverage might last through most of the tests that they have scheduled.'

"You'll be awake during the entire procedure. Your HMO won't cover the Anesthesia."

'Your cat scan looks fine, your pet scan looks fine, your MRI looks fine, but your insurance reimbursement doesn't look fine.'

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

"We don't offer a health-care plan. Instead, we have Lou persuade you not to get sick."

Medical Equipment profit chart.

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

'...you said, 'it only gets a bit damp when it rains'!''

We can't call the doctor, we can't call the nurse, we have to call the lady with the alligator purse.

"I'm prescribing a patch. It will dispense meds as permitted by your insurance company."

Auto parts, Lite Puff Pastries, & Health Insurance Exchange.

'The position carries no salary, just healthcare coverage.'

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

Single Prayer Health Insurance