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"Angina, I've already had that. Can't I have something else?"

The New Surgery Interpreter was to prove invaluable

"Okay, Mr. Collins, let's see how that old heart of yours is doing."

'After extensive X-rays and blood tests, we've confirmed what we alread suspected - you're not big-boned, you're fat.'

'I think it's your colon. I came to that conclusion through the process of elimination.'

'This is my twin brother. He's going to give you the second opinion you asked for...'

'No, no, no...that's far too legible. Shakier. Much shakier!'

Early Anaesthesia

Medical Books - Lady Chatterley's Liver

The CAT scanner has developed a glitch!

Laparoscopic surgeons' night out.

"I understand memorizing sexually explicit mnemonics in college...but we don't say them in front of patients!"

"You have third-degree burns over most of your body. At least your chin looks OK ??" aside from that big hairy mole."

Rodney was sometimes a little too eager to please.

'Is he second screening my screening?'

Gynaecologist standing under a patient (like a mechanic).

'Semen specimen! The doctor wants a urine sample.'

'We've not met, but I'm your keyhole surgeon.'

"Doctor, I'm fairly certain we've been feeding the wrong end for a week."

"And now, my mother, Mrs. Knable, will put you to sleep with tales of her arthritis."

"The holiday guidance on our forms refers to inoculations, not swimwear!"

'Hold still... this may hurt a smidge!'

"People: We need a Euphemism."

"Hey, how come no diplomas?" "Oh, I'm self-taught."

"Am I the only one who can see that sign?"

"Just as I suspected...hardening of the arteries"

'First we'll do a whole series of tests. With a medical plan as good as yours we're bound to come up with something.'

'It seems your heart replaced the 'Boom-Boom' beat with a funny ringtone!'

'Hold it!'

"How good are you at making last minute plans in a hurry?"

"Sorry. Even I can't decipher this doctor's chicken scratch."

"It'll have to stay on until your vasectomy heals..."

"Wow, at last! Somebody who's really ill."

"It's wonderful how John is able to get 100% compliance from his patients!"

"All good: This egg looks healthy as well..."