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"Angina, I've already had that. Can't I have something else?"

The New Surgery Interpreter was to prove invaluable

"Okay, Mr. Collins, let's see how that old heart of yours is doing."

'After extensive X-rays and blood tests, we've confirmed what we alread suspected - you're not big-boned, you're fat.'

'I think it's your colon. I came to that conclusion through the process of elimination.'

'This is my twin brother. He's going to give you the second opinion you asked for...'

'No, no, no...that's far too legible. Shakier. Much shakier!'

Early Anaesthesia

Medical Books - Lady Chatterley's Liver

Laparoscopic surgeons' night out.

The CAT scanner has developed a glitch!

"I understand memorizing sexually explicit mnemonics in college...but we don't say them in front of patients!"

'We've not met, but I'm your keyhole surgeon.'

"You have third-degree burns over most of your body. At least your chin looks OK ??" aside from that big hairy mole."

Rodney was sometimes a little too eager to please.

'Is he second screening my screening?'

Gynaecologist standing under a patient (like a mechanic).

'Semen specimen! The doctor wants a urine sample.'

"Doctor, I'm fairly certain we've been feeding the wrong end for a week."

"And now, my mother, Mrs. Knable, will put you to sleep with tales of her arthritis."

"Just as I suspected...hardening of the arteries"

'First we'll do a whole series of tests. With a medical plan as good as yours we're bound to come up with something.'

'It seems your heart replaced the 'Boom-Boom' beat with a funny ringtone!'

"How good are you at making last minute plans in a hurry?"

"Am I the only one who can see that sign?"

"Sorry. Even I can't decipher this doctor's chicken scratch."

"Hey, how come no diplomas?" "Oh, I'm self-taught."

"People: We need a Euphemism."

"The holiday guidance on our forms refers to inoculations, not swimwear!"

'Hold still... this may hurt a smidge!'

"Sorry, he's never smelled a urologist before."

"Wow, at last! Somebody who's really ill."

"All good: This egg looks healthy as well..."

"I did warn you about the heat in Spain, Mrs. Thompson, a sunburnt tongue is no laughing matter."

"Right, we need three units of lawyer blood. Make sure it's really cold."