Medical Exam Pillows

'Other than your choice of ring tone, I can't find anything wrong with you.'

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

'Well, well, well...'

Nervous Oral Testing

"The doctor thinks I need a hearing something or other."

I'm trying to read your test results from urology, but their server can only stream them a little bit at a time.

Turkey Autopsy

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

'Oh, relax - you're doing great for your age...but I am a little concerned about out computer's old operating system.'

'Wilkins! Keep your eyes on your own cadaver!'

'As you can see, it's a boy and he seems to be doing just fine.'

"I suspect your headaches may be the result of you being exposed to someone with an undiagnosed case of cabin fever."

Turn your head and laugh.

"Darn it, lost another swab."

"All other letters have been disallowed."

Medical Examinations.

'My diagnostic software is acting up. It says you are pregnant.'

"I try to 'go with the flow' doc, but my prostate is an unwilling participant!"

'When are you going to admit you need glasses?'

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

'It's not my fault that I've developed habits that cannot be sustained.'

"According to stomach content analysis he'll be dead in half an hour."

"If it's nothing serious' why did you put on five pairs of gloves?"

'Having all this information on my patient's diagnostics is great, but I think I need a degree in data analytics to sort it all out...'

'I see a beautiful young woman. You're naked, she's leaning over you. Oh, wait. She's performing your autopsy! '

Turkey Autopsy

Investing 101 Acronym Test.

'The autopsy revealed he was indeed a yellow-bellied, lily-livered varmint!'

"I see you naked. A beautiful young woman is leaning over you... Oh, hang on. She's performing your autopsy."

"Another clear case of COVID19."

No offense, Doctor, but I'm feeling kinda rushed.

What goes up must come down, except for your cholesterol, apparently.