
'I know it's a bummer. We don't like it any more than you do. Now, back away from the desk.'
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'I know it's a bummer. We don't like it any more than you do. Now, back away from the desk.'
"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."
'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'
An organ flies across the room during an operation - 'Catch it...!'
To encourage patients to take their medication, Dr. Gratner brought in a sketch artist to show them what they will look like in six months without meds.
'Restless Peg Syndrome.'
'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'
'Whatever it is, you've got it bad and that ain't good.'
"Last week on 'Top Surgeon' Erica won immunity, while Carl was sent home for killing his patient during routine gallbladder surgery."
'Snap out of it.'
A mosquito cleaning the surface of a person's arm before sucking out the blood.
Prostate Exam Second Opinion
"Just give me the truth, Doc...I can tell when you're trying to humor me."
'I'm sending you to see another doctor, he's a specialist in hyperchondria.'
'...Better clear my schedule too.'
Clown's knee reflex sends doctor through ceiling
"You were smart to come see, Mr. Lewis. These moles on your back definitely look suspicious."
'When you said I had to come in for a scan, this isn't what I had in mind.'
'I diagnosed you with THAT? Whoa! You patients really need to be more involved with your healthcare!'
"I'm afraid it's your suit...you're suffering from batnipple."
Lazy Doctor
'Maintenance to the O.R....Maintenance to the O.R....'
According to your chart, your leg is a pre-existing condition, Mr. Fusco. My entire body is a pre-existing condition, Doctor. (This cartoon was originally published on 2010-08-12).
"I'm going to have to draw some blood."
"Lay off the junk food, your pancreas is rusty"
"Good news! It's only cancer."
"If anyone has a question do not hesitate to open your mouth wide up."
'Have I been waiting long? Well, I guess so. I was forty three years old when I came in.'
"According to your EKG, you are not a good hearted person."
'This may sting a bit.'
'Your breathing test results would be normal ... if you were 3'8' and 150 years old.'
Save the bacon,
"Those sinus pills you prescribed didn't work, doc...I put three up my nose every day for a week and I'm still congested!"
"You'll be pleased to know you're making good progress - you've just become a statistic."
'His heartbeat has been like that ever since he had the pig valve installed.'
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