Medical Association Member Gifts

BMA told to radically overhaul communications.

'There they go - off on their own - and a finer bunch of fledgelings one couldn't ask.'

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

Little doctor.

'Hah! The joke's on you — I already thought up a second opinion!'

"The good news is that your cardiac surgery was a complete success. The bad news is that we had to remove the song from your heart."

"Gross."

Guide to Contagious Diseases.

'G-g-golly! One day out of med school and I'm about to perform brain surgery! Just look at that scalpel shake!'

"I'd delighted your son wants to be a surgeon.. but that no reason to let let him practice on you."

Parts Department

Doctors

"Geoffrey's a bit worried about lyme disease."

Medical Examinations.

'You've a slipped disc in your back and a slipped everything in your front.'

Feel alienated by technology? Tell me more. Press 1 for yes, 2 for no.

Deep in the Heart of Texas: The Cholesterol Kid.

'Maggots.' - playing doctor

'Urology...can you hold?'

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

Doctor testing patient reflexes with unusual results.

Cardiology, Neurology and Ophthalmology.

Charlie's medical advice always went in one ear and out the other.

"I can't find the instructions."

"This feels so familiar."

Surgery is to be encouraged to set up food banks

"It appears you have a virus."

'It says take all your medication - if you can afford it.'

"And now to check the patient's reflexes."

'Howard, I wish you'd stop bring your work home with you.'

Mrs. Tree? A hockey ball hit your daughter. It's likely just a bad bruise. Whew! Though there could be a fracture, nerve damage or fatal blood clots. What? Don't worry. Our medical advisor is evaluating Twig right now. Can you sign this liability waiver? Her hand seems fine. Team lawyer.

'Isn't medical progress marvellous? If we'd been sat here a hundred years ago, we'd be dead by now!'

'In simple terms, bacterial infections can be treated with anti-biotics such as penicillin - whereas a virus is something yur computer gets.'

Nothing like a Valentine from my boyfriend David... the cardiologist.