Medical Appointment Mystique Mugs

'I should warn you, I charge double if you want me to examine both of them, Mrs. Jacobs.'

'Well, well, well...'

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

'Reflexes seem normal. You kept him waiting over two hours.'

'He licked all my tongue depressors.'

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

'Veins...arteries...I told you I can never tell one from another.'

'So you're off to see the chiropodist... the only time in your life you shouldn't put your best foot forward!'

9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.

'Lost Diary'

'You don't have a heart murmur, but your liver is muttering.'

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

'Your test results are in - and here's a first, the Lab Techs have asked to meet you.'

"You've got bunions, hammertoes and plantar fasciitis. Bad feet must run in your family." "Nobody runs in my family."

"Appointments. Disappointments."

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

Patient to Doctor: 'This may hurt a little.'

'We can't determine if you're telling the truth, but you should have a doctor check your pressure.'

'...Do you have an appointment...?'

A Mom and Pop Operation

'Make me a bunch of appointments that I won't be able to keep.'

'Tell you what; I'll give you the lollipop and I'll give you the shot.'

'Yes we can cure you - but the bigger problem now is: can you afford it?'

"Actually, I didn't become dizzy and nauseous until I started inhaling the scent strips in the waiting room magazines."

The Big Book of Really Hard Surgery

'Eureka! It won't cure anything, but the side effects are terrific!'

"I cancelled my last appointment without phoning the Doctor... so I'm making up for it by showing up without phoning!"

Sewing Machines in Surgery

"An appointment is required except for Wednesday afternoons, when he suffers fools gladly."

'The doctor's office said you cancelled your appointment and put a restraining order on the rest of them.'

Morty likes a holistic approach... sex, cigarettes, pillow talk and then death.

Taking blood pressure

"Is this your first time seeing a specialist?"