Medical Adviser T-Shirts

'I'll put it this way: throw away the planning book and start scrapbooking.'

"The diagnostic computer think I should defrag your hard drive."

"I am sick to death of the contempt this idiot shows for the way we roll down here!"

"The doctor said I need to shop around for a casket. I asked for a second opinion and he suggested cremation."

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

Robodoc... the NHS surgeon of the future.

"Give a man a fish and you feed him for the day. Teach a man to fish and you can charge a consulting fee."

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

'Answer these constituents letters. Tell them to go to hell in a nice way.'

"Sometimes I wonder why I spent ten years at medical school and another 20 honing my skills..."

"Just go with the workflow."

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."

"Remember, Man of good Sense not here to do work on your behalf. Man of good Sense only here to help you on strategic level until you wise enough to overcome recession."

"I became a mentor because I needed more direction in life."

"I can definitely give you my two cents, Sir – just let me know how you want it: Bitcoin, Paypal, or Venmo."

"At least he's honest about it..."

'Where you went wrong' Desk.

When it comes to health issues, I'd rather listen to a physician than a spin doctor.

"Every single day, guys ask you for advice about women, work, sports... Haven't you ever even heard of the law of supply and demand?. . .I'd be glad to steer the downtrodden and the forlorn your way for a mere 82% of the man-to-man-talk fee."

Govt. UK led by Seance

'The Meaning of Life? -- you don't have a bad ticker, do you?'

"And this is my cousin Dave, who handles the conventional wisdom."

'I'm prescribing a laxative pill and a sleeping pill. Never, never take them together.'

'It basically boils down to you need to do stuff better.'

Don't forget to read the small print.

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

"I'm a doctor - I'm SUPPOSED to be a health nut!"

"When I want your advice, I'll ask for it... but in an oblique, face-saving way."

"The steering-committee three are we. Run it by us, and we'll see."

'Learn to relax and don't bottle yourself up.'

'It's just until the election is over, but I'm replacing you with Dick Morris.'

Axel, if I were to give you one piece of advice in life, it would be this: Don't hide your light under a bushel