Mediator Maven T-Shirts

'You use the former when wooing your beloved and the latter during negotiations with your divorce lawyers.'

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

In the Guru District

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

"National security adviser"

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

"And this is our media room."

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

Dialogue

'The toughest things you have to deal with in this job, is feelings and lawyers.'

Tug of Negotiation and Conciliation.

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

"Does anyone here have a clue what it is we used to get?"

Changing Minds

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

Danae's Career Plans: 'The major product manufactured today is punditry, so I'm honing my argumentative skills to work my way to the top of the blow hard industry..my goal is to become a spin ninja...'

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

Signs: Sales, Profit and Media coverage.

'How did the 'I want you all to take a pay cut or leave' strategy go down?'

Collective Psyche

'Three weeks of brutal alimony negotiations, Polly, and you settle for a cracker!'