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Je Suis Brangelina

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"Tell me, Chuck, is barbarism the natural state of mankind, and will it ultimately triumph?"

"I prefer 'prostitute'. 'Media whore' implies that I'm not getting paid."

In my day, they didn

Meet John Henderson. - The only journalist NOT to have interviewed serial killers in prison...

'Our Anesthesiologist resigned recently.'

Diana Inquest - 'It's time to move on, and start making a TV mini-series of her life.'

'You are in court today, so I've got to take you into make up.'

"Actually, we will replace you."

'We just received a radio signal from Tau-Upsilon that was utter drivel. Do you suppose it was one of their TV shows?'

Lose the Iraq War.

'Bad enough they always ask what the worst case scenario is. Must they always look so damned happy asking it?'

'The controversy builds, as we gather more half-arsed comments to dress up as considered public opinion!'

Reality TV

"I know I say it in every episode, Carson, but the world is changing and we have to change with it."

"According to the Times, the cartoonist drew my right hand wrong."

"I've seen this film ten times and it's still awful."

"And now a special report from 'News 4' Science Editor, Dr. Frank Lovell, on how to remove your own gallbladder."

'...And now it's time for today's celebrity hissy-fit....'

"Owww!! Yes, that hurts!"

"The media should...keep its mouth shut and just listen for awhile."

'The peasants aren't so bad, Son -- it's the bourgeoisie that's so darn judgmental!'

'...And now, it's time for the news, sports, weather and bimbos.'

'Don't you have anything more recent? I've already read what you just confessed on your blog.'

'so let me get this straight... you're famous for being the sister of the wife of a man who went to school with someone who knew someone else who is already famous?'

The City of Eden…in Fact - Martin Outside the 'Office' of Chuzzlewit & Co

'Maybe it's one of those super-stations.'

"Armageddon, armageddon, armageddon, then sports and weather."

Special Report from Paris...

Next on Fox! Clowns Without Makeup.

Type that up, make ten million copies and then shred them.

Media Attention for Aliens

Pretty Soon: Increasingly dim TV newscasters will need help knowing what emotions to convey when they are 'reporting'.

Journalist with a 'Press Pass' being put in a laundry press.