Media Analyst T-Shirts

Strictly off the record.

"That was Brad with the Democratic weather. Now here's Tammy with the Republican weather."

'It says here that most people believe what they read in the papers.'

'Typical media bias. First they label the wolf 'the big BAD wolf' then they only give Little Red Riding Hood's point of view.'

'Hey, that line's moving a lot faster!'

Information vs. Opinion Desks

"And, in a move sure to attract the attention of regulators, the private sector made a bid to acquire the public sector."

"But how do we know that's true?"

'Responding to viewer sentiment, we have eliminated world news and expanded our entertainment and sports news.'

'Are we talking about political reality, media reality or the real reality?'

'Oh my God! Brace yourselves! . . . Wait - this just in: everything's fine. . . for now'

Slanted media coverage.

'We'll be back, after this commercial break, with more reasons why its not safe to leave your house.'

Sign says Daily News: Read it for free online: Journalists wonder 'Where did it all go wrong?'

"It's all roadkill, and never a word about the chickens who get to the other side!"

In the Guru District

"They're the same newspaper. It just depends on your political point of view."

DAILY DESPAIR - Right we'll lead on 'environmental armageddon followed by the bird flu ' end of humanity story' and the main feature will be questioning the reasons for increases in depression.

"We know nothing. We'll be back in five minutes with nothing more."

'It's called 'wild suburban sex orgies', but thats just for marketing...its actually about 17th century basket weaving'

The All-Crisis Network

Studies show foods work miracles!

"Er...nothing much has happened yet today...."

School of fake news.

Horrible things!

Humility Monthly magazine: Featuring Our Person of the Year, Bud Blevins!

"Honey, what's that channel I like to watch?. . . You know the one with strong opinions based on little information."

"We need to start seeing other news sources."

'Next...an in-depth report on corporate corruption - excluding, of course, our parent company.'

Problem Page.

Couple watches the news, seeing 'News, Fake News, Weather, and Sports'.

No news is good news.

Media give little attention to Darfur tragedy.

'Contrary to the popular view, our studies show that it is real life that contributes to violence on television.'

Man throws away newspaper, saying: 'Clearly 'the best things in life are free' does not apply to newspapers.'