Mechanical Gurus Pillows

'Here's your problem, mate. You know nothing about cars, and I could be telling you any old rubbish.'

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

Apples for sale

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

Due to his low center of gravity, Jake is the greatesr broncbuster ever!

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

Intelligent people laugh too!

On the back of the t-shirt...

'Every piece of equipment is hooked up to battery cells in the basement, and we actually sell electricity back to the power company!'

Muscles

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"Think outside the box but never forget who owns the box."

Drool Marks

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

'My electric car is giving me static!'

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

Exercise Class

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

The trim reaper

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

Organic Soldering.

"Bonk!"

"I exercised so much during my first pregnancy that the baby was born with athlete's foot."

"Have your parents sign this waiver concerning violations of personal space. . . then you guys can play tag."

Inflating Boobs.

'What are you eating now?'

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

Newton's Cradle Solar System

"I've narrowed the problem down to somewhere under this big flap I discovered."

'You raised the price of air to 50c!' 'Inflation.'

'Can you take the lid off this jar for me...?'

The Small Business Advisor: 'The first bit of advice I'd give you for your garage start-up is to tell your dad'

'Sorry mate. Your church doesn't meet the minimum building code.'