Matrimonial Thinker Mugs

'Don't worry, I was just thinking outside the ring.'

"We hope seeing a marriage counselor maybe could make one of us less stubborn!"

Is man a social animal? - 'As a married man, the short answer is no.'

"Now look, Frank, Molly, there's nothing wrong with a Polar Bear and a Penguin being in a relationship. In fact, in my experience, Polar opposites attract!"

"No, no - that's not the company sales, that's my marriage."

Parson and abandoned husband

"You don't have to say anthing, but anything you do say may later be used in court by a divorce lawyer."

Mrs Cat waiting for Mr Cat coming home late.

You are cordially invited...

A Man Visits A Doctor To Ask About Marriage.

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, I am a 24-year-old man. The woman I am about to marry is having second thoughts because she believes that we are too young. What do you think? - Jacob. Actual reader letter. Great question. When is the right time to marry? Randy, our commitment expert, would you like to handle this one? Jacob, really, what were you expecting?! Medic! Randy's not moving.

"Donald switched off in 1985 and i never bothered to switch him on again."

'One thing I need clarified: if we marry in church, is there any point in a pre-nuptial agreement?'

"Honey, please! I can’t concentrate with you in there being married to me!"

'Nobody really agrees about what marriage is these days, so I'll just say 'Yadda yadda yadda.''

"If I get married, will that count as a capital gain?"

"Like the old saying goes, when the cat's away, the mouse better not do anything that'll get him choked out when the cat gets back."

"When a relationship needs mainenance, it would be great if you could just call a super."

'You're not alone, Mr. Scrapp. A lot of hyenas are sensitive to laughter in the bedroom.'

"Now, if something happens to your marriage, do you want do-not resuscitate?"

"She's high maintenance. I love her."

"You know what I bet it is? I bet we're breaking up but we just don't realize it yet."

"I say 'tomarto', he says 'tomayto', I say 'portarto', he says 'potayto'. Why else do you think we're here?"

The End is Near...You Wish.

"Norman, the proper response is 'I do'...not 'If I have to'!"

"... And the only time he takes me out, is to bring me here!"

"You take small bites out life, Howard, and chew thoroughly."

"There, but for the wrath of my wife, go I."

Woman on a pedestal who married the planning expert.

"Time has come for me to take a wife."

She realized with horror that she had settled for Les.

"I always cry at weddings because I'm philosophically opposed to the institution of marriage."

"Yes, dear, I like the idea of repeating our vows — but let's change some stuff."

"She asked for a divorce, but I outsmarted her and ran into the next room."

"He hangs out at parties, and gets smashed, but he wants me to believe he's always being attacked by innocent little school children."