Math-phobic Humor Enthusiasts Pillows

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty to tax evasion by reason of math phobia.'

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

"Actually, the job calls for someone who is convex."

Computation Lite, 13 Computations Than Our Regular Formulas.

'If your cell phone has five hundred minutes, and you use one of them during this class, how long will you be in detention?'

"My homework? It was super easy today. I drew a dragon and daddy did Math."

'According to my calculations, George, you don't exist. You... don't... exist. George. I'm going to have to ask you to leave.'

Complimentary angles make the other angles feel good about themselves.

'I don't know if you're a mathematician but my wife's not happy with her Poisson distribution.'

'Oh, we don't actually teach math any more ? we found it was too hard on the kids' self-esteem.'

Entrance code to MENSA club - 'To enter, simply type in the square root of Pi.'

With the aid of an abacus, Elizabeth Barrett Browning counts the ways.

'Hell's freezing over. The only thing I can figure is that Professor Crenshaw finally traded in his slide rule for a calculator.'

Mobius Comic Strip.

The geometry of everyday life

The irony is that Euclid himself is way out of shape.

'We're going to need a bigger basket.'

"Pi and mash squared please."

A Protractor.

"I'm sorry, Sam, but all of this doesn't add up to a hill of beans."

'My husband always loves your Poisson distribution - it's something to do with being a mathematician.'

"Fever, chills and dizziness. Sounds like you have a Math test at work today."

Figure of Eight

"You know what we call a number that won't sit still?"

"Is x the wrong angle?"

Maths Department with sum on door sign.

'Everyone says 'business is business' - But has anyone ever checked the math on that?'

"For her birthday I bought my wife an abacus...

A Wrecked-angle.

Hillary's New Math

'Assuming, of course, that a woodchuck could chuck wood.'

School janitor empties numbers out of math room waste basket.

'...based on the premise that 6X3=47...'

"How do we know this isn't a ponzi scheme?"