Math Lecturer T-Shirts

'My name is Dexter Milton. I have a PhD in Math and I'm <complicated math formula> old!'

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

'Never mind inspiration. I need background material on atomic physics.'

'But I digress...'

Eternal Student.

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

'Does this have anything to do with Einstein's theory of relativity?'

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"But everyone is befuddled by math."

"Oh, stop it. You are not at all obtuse." Complimentary angles make the other angles feel good about themselves.

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

'X is unknown? Even to somebody with all your education?'

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

"Make a lot of money."

Pi Ala Mode.

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

Scarcity

'...And here we have the 'Laugher Curve.''

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

'It was bound to happen - they're beginning to think like binary computers.'

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

How to deliver a successful presentation.

"Any questions?"

A Major Refresher Course is in Order.

'He was only reaching for his powerpoint presentation pointer.'

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

'So what are you studying, young man?'

'Recalculating...recalculating...'

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."