Math Humor Aficionado T-Shirts

"Sir, my dad is a professional gardener and he says there's no such thing as a square root."

'Everyone says 'business is business' - But has anyone ever checked the math on that?'

"Oh Johnny, I like you but not in that way. I'm a platonic solid."

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

'Believe me dad. I'm on the school math team. If your investments declined 50 then increased 50 you did not break even.'

"Actually, the job calls for someone who is convex."

'The batteries in my calculator just died. Good thing I kept the instructions on how to count on my fingers.'

Computation Lite, 13 Computations Than Our Regular Formulas.

Pi fight!

'If your cell phone has five hundred minutes, and you use one of them during this class, how long will you be in detention?'

'Mathematician's Rap.'

"My homework? It was super easy today. I drew a dragon and daddy did Math."

"People mistakenly think that we accountants are all boring number crunchers, but the latest figures show that 54% of the 23% of people who responded to a survey were 45% in favour of us being 12% more interesting than average!"

"Please, Ms. Sweeney, may I ask where you're going with all this?"

'According to my calculations, George, you don't exist. You... don't... exist. George. I'm going to have to ask you to leave.'

Complimentary angles make the other angles feel good about themselves.

'I don't know if you're a mathematician but my wife's not happy with her Poisson distribution.'

'Oh, we don't actually teach math any more ? we found it was too hard on the kids' self-esteem.'

Entrance code to MENSA club - 'To enter, simply type in the square root of Pi.'

With the aid of an abacus, Elizabeth Barrett Browning counts the ways.

'Hell's freezing over. The only thing I can figure is that Professor Crenshaw finally traded in his slide rule for a calculator.'

Mobius Comic Strip.

The geometry of everyday life

Home Schooled On The Range

'My husband always loves your Poisson distribution - it's something to do with being a mathematician.'

"I'm sorry, Sam, but all of this doesn't add up to a hill of beans."

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

Count of Monte Cristo

"Fever, chills and dizziness. Sounds like you have a Math test at work today."

Maths Department with sum on door sign.

"Is x the wrong angle?"

"For her birthday I bought my wife an abacus...

"You know what we call a number that won't sit still?"