Maternal Care T-Shirts

"I'd better enjoy this while I can. It's the only home I'll own without a mortgage!"

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

Madonna of the Pukes.

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

Pool attached to child's bed.

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

Chez Nous Menu

Man dreams of romance whilst a woman dreams of romance and babies.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

"Mom! Don't think of me as covered with sand. Think of me as sugar coated."

'She finds it really easy to juggle her kids with her career now she's joined the circus.'

1847 - Bram Stoker, creator of Dracula was born in Dublin.

"Same old same old. How about you?"

Doris K. Elston: Brain Surgeon, Professional Model, Artist, Lawyer....Plus Mother of Four.

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

Mother puts extra long dummy in babies mouth.

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

"He's such a fussy eater."

'Well, he's definitely got your nose...'

Mother Nature

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

Same Day Delivery: "I wish!"

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

"Sarah has two mommies and both of them are good cooks."

"Be sure and eat your frozen vegetables."