Materialistic Monarch T-Shirts

"My third and final wish is for money and wealth—again!"

King George I

"Surprise!"

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

"Is this the same gold bar I gave you last year?"

'No, you can't play poker tonight! The last time you played, you lost Schewig-Holstein!'

"Don't worry, princess, I'm sure one day your Mr. Divine Right will come along."

"I have to admit. You talked a good game."

''Depression'? -- You or the country or both?'

The Royal Wii

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

'I'm a work-at-home dad.'

(Mother Goose: playboy's Mirthful Master of the Macabre serves Up Some Strange Twists On a Clutch of Children's Classics.) "Is this supposed to be somebody's idea of a joke?"

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

'He just outlawed his in-laws.'

'This is great! -- I should have thought of tax simplification years ago!'

Lion to safari man: 'I'm the king of the jungle and these are my official spokesmen.'

King completes rubik's cube.

"It's either this or a country run by lawyers."

'You can scratch your back when the war is over!'

"Enemies, yes, but doesn't your moat also keep out love?"

"I welcome the discussion."

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

'I know it seems like a war, but it's actually an all-out struggle for peace!'

"Friend or foe?"

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

'I wish you wouldn't bring work home with you!'

"King and clown—why can't I be both?"

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

'Well, you DID know this job was dangerous when you took it.'