Matchmaker On The Court Gifts

'Anyone for doubles?'

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

They knew they were made for each other when their eyes met from across the room at the Same Socks Bar,

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

"From the gentleman at the end of the bar. Again."

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

"I don' want another weather forcaster - they're too unpredictable."

"Men just won't leave me alone!"

Acme Dating Service

"...and if anyone here suspects that the algorithm that put these two together might be flawed, speak now..."

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

Match maker

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

"Of all the finger-painting classes in all the day-care centers in all the world, you had to walk into mine."

Sidekick speed matching service.

"Ironically, I think I'm experiencing job burn out!"

"Nothing works with this guy. Would you like us to shoot the pool guy?"

"I did warn you. Mum can take her time warming to a new boyfriend."

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

"Here's one - 'Few-bricks-short-of-a-load seeks One-our-out-of-the-water.'."

"The preacher's wife needs a new hobby."

Cupid's converge on a bachelor.

"I'm not looking for Mr.Right, Just Mr. Swipe-right!"

"Okay. So, apart from being a very shy ventriloquist, is there anything else you can tell me about him?"

'Are you fit, attractive male...?'

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."

"I'm sure you will be very happy together."