Match Mishaps Lover Mugs

Goalie saves a boot instead of a football.

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

'Well, it wasn't my lucky day... first there was that shark and then I bimped into a bunch of beaver!'

"You had me at alternative milk."

'If you're proposing, Nigel, get it done before full time!'

"OK, well, if you do hear anything, be sure to give us a call."

"I asked for a bottle of something that would make men drool over me. This is bourbon."

As luck would have it the hunchback's blind date turned out to be a hunchbelly!

"Melisa! - Your spelling is atrocious!"

'Little Tommy took the cap off the sauce bottle when he got home from school in the end.'

Desert crawler rescued by truck that won't start.

"Aw yeah, twist on the exhale! Twist on the exhale! Yeah yeah!!"

"Sorry I'm late: I was hitching a ride but when the driver noticed me, he panicked and we had an accident..."

"Damn. The minute I eat a stink bug, in walks Mr. Wonderful!..."

Brazil vs Germany

'Next time make sure it's the bath plug before you pull it out.'

Gimme a hot chocolate. On the rocks. Straight. Lady troubles? And how. Old Mr. Mort told me if I wanted to appeal to the ladies, I should watch some old black and white movies and do what those guys do. So I started jogging downstairs sideways like Cary Grant. I said "see!" after every sentence like James Cagney. I ran in place and yelled "whoop-whoop-whoop!" like Curly. All the girls loved it. But now I have four playdates scheduled at the same time! Not at all where I thought that was going.

A typical Newcastle fan.

Lost Property: "How can I help?"

I love badminton.

Classic Film Festival. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. I told you it wasn't a buddy movie!

"Ted! It's fallen down! Ted!"

Campanology wasn't really Gregory's thing!

"Sold, to the gentleman with the paddle."

'His bait got away.'

Football fan's painted face turns completely red at the sight of a big breasted woman.

OK, I'm a little shallow, but I'm meaningful.

'It's been an interesting evening. Do you mind if I use your ledge for a minute?'

Ballskeeper

"I always thought you'd look great, covered in spiders."

'Magic and culinary.'

Race starter shooting Cameraman with starting gun

Golf Cart Punctures

Harpist slicing fingers on strings