Match Day Joker Prints

"So a 'brilliant cross' is when the ball happens to plonk on a bloke's bonce and go in, is it?"

'Your shoe's untied.'

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

Tennis ball girl.

'You can't beat the excitement of a new county season.'

'But Mum, I've got a match after school...'

'... and finally, before tip-off, let's all be courteous and turn off our cell phones.'

'If you're proposing, Nigel, get it done before full time!'

The Rugby Throw Up.

"You idiots … we lost!"

'If it's a game of two halves, how come you're on your third pint?'

"So, after five glorious weeks, football is coming home!"

"Uh ho. It looks like the Ref's giving him the yellow vuvuzela."

'I wonder who they'll bring on as manager for the second half.'

'Remember it's YOUR benefit game-go out and foul whoever you like!'

Bowled out.

The new heated seats were proving to be just a little too hot for the fans!

GOOOOAAAAAL!

"I promised I'd bring him - he could never afford to come when he was alive."

'I don't think you are going to see the end of this match with that 4-4-2 formation.'

"Buona Sera, Mrs. Johnson! You ordered two pizzas. That's £18!"

A typical Newcastle fan.

Football players walk onto the pitch holding childrens' hands, who are holding rag dolls.

'There it goes, there it goes, there it goes...'

'I thought I would never find a place to park, dear.'

'Simkins, I want a word with you lad...'