Mat Message Decoder Prints

A Welcome mat words mixed up at the Dyslexic Clinic

Barks in code.

'I know! It's what I had last night for dinner.'

"Just so I’m understanding the menu, the ‘Old Forge wheel with rosemary-infused pancetta’ is essentially a $36 Hot Pocket?"

'You might show a little excitement at the figures, Johnson!'

"We're going to the park to size up the competition."

DIY horror.

'Physical or Social Science?'

"The quicksand was corporate's idea. I wanted to fire you for going over my head. They wanted to send a message."

Information vs. confusion

"And here you have a brown thing next to something greenish, with some sort of brown runny stuff underneath it."

'I heard it through the grapevine.'

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

"The are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't."

'I'll be right with you after I've checked my messages, dear...'

'It's my job to be nosy!'

"Well, yes, I suppose I could explain the test results in 'plain English' — but then you'd know how sick you are."

'It's this one here, that I don't understand.'

'On the paupiettes de boeuf a la hongroise, which part is the hongroise?'

"The doctors call it Polymyositis, but I call it 'Military Arthritis' because it comes with a lot of fatigue."

"You got my text... but did you get my subtext?"

'Is this a Greek restaurant?'

'Baby and Child Care Guidelines'

"Hey, got your message. Just wanted to let you know you spelled 'desperately' wrong."

"The chocolate pudding is chef's digital signature dish."

"This is my voice mail."

"i'm trying to remember the type of California white wine but I like, but my mind keeps drawing a blanc."

Russian Missiles Incognito

Never choose a vacation spot by its posters.

Change Rooms.

'I think we took a wrong turn.'

Marooned Optometrist

Text/Subtext Message

'It's from the bloke on the other island. It reads; Help. I'm stranded on a desert island.'