Master Of Modern Medicine Humor Pillows

"I've tricked all my squirmy patients into staying still by telling them we're doing the mannequin challenge."

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

Ice Cream Surgeon

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

PSA Banter.

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

"Would you please step back to the machine while I make an adjustment?"

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

Vlad the Inhaler

"Hope you don't mind, but I can't find my little hammer."

"The answer to bone loss is to bury them deeper.'

'ooh! A womb with a view.'

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

I'm taking you off trying to stay young.

'AHH, here it is! At the next intersection, turn left, then cough, following that, turn right, then cough...' WHEN DOCTORS NAVIGATE.

"Because we dismissed his original self-diagnosis, he wants to give us his second opinion."

'My medical school believed laughter is the best medicine.

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

'What's wrong with me, Doctor?' 'I have no idea! That information comes within doctor-patient confidentiality.'

What do MD and PHD mean? It means the doctor owes a lot of money in student loans.

'It's the only known prevention for swine flu...Big bad wolf serum...'

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

"I'm putting you on a beef diet. Nothing beef for breakfast, nothing beef for lunch, nothing beef for tea, nothing beef for..."

'We tend to favour more traditional anaesthetic techniques here.'

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

"How long before the clinical trials are over?"

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

"My doctor said I'm not getting any younger. I'd like a second opinion."

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

'I think it's damn unprofessional for a dermatologist to scream 'Yikes' like that.'

"You only need one prescription. The other 7 are for the side effects."