Master Of Interviews Mugs

'Send in the next applicant Ms Jones.'

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

"You're just the man we're looking for. Come around to this side of the desk, and I'll gather up my things and get the heck out of here."

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

'Can you do more work then is humanly possible?'

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

'I'm sure that you are highly qualified. It's just that we're not hiring anyone at the third grade level.'

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

"My biggest weakness? I'm a perfectionist."

'I know my resume makes me seem overtrained, but I really wasn't paying attention.'

"Bob doesn't do well in job interviews, so he hired me. I'm a professional actor who specializes in these situations."

"You work well without supervision? Fat chance of that happening in here!"

'Don't start timing me yet! This staple won't come out!'

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

'Now, remember...let me do the talking.'

"Wow...your resume is quite impressive."

'Your CV says in your last job you were responsible for...'

"I believe you'll like our company. We pay our employees time and a fifth."

Your salary as a research assistant is commensurate on your ability of spell, define, and delineate the work 'commensurate.'

"It's a shame, excellent recommendations and a superb skill set but lacks the boiling hot all consuming ambition and ruthless desire for self promotion required as head of stationary procurement."

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

'Alright, throw in your resume and the 'Get A Job' potion will be complete.'

'Cat job interviews.'

"I see you have a lot of experience in re-tail. . ."

'Make up your mind, pal - there are plenty of other fish who'd give their gills for this job.'

Bad Interview Technique

"I'll tell you what I'm looking for! I'm looking for a yes man, Jenson. Do you think you could fit that bill?"

'But I think my strongest asset as an employee is my aversion to pretense, coupled with an unwavering commitment to a regular-guy persona!'

"I'm a great ... umm... like ... umm... like... umm ... communicator."

"Everything looks real good...except these long gaps in your work history every winter."

"This is a fast-paced job you're applying for...what are your goals...where do you see yourself in the next 10 minutes?"