Mashup Enthusiast Gifts

"Hold it a second. I want to watch this."

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

"Honey, where did you put my Green Lantern cufflinks?!"

"Sorry, that's not my table."

"Yeah, uh, maybe you're not cut out to be the 'sparkly' kind of vampire."

'I'd kill for concrete.'

Frank N. Stein - Evirnomentalist.

Just Stop Oil Painting

'I suppose you're going to tell me I need new contact lenses.'

A Heavy Metal Musician.

Boxing with your harp

"Right now someone is saying 'Look, somebody threw out a perfectly good briefcase!"

'Continue to support sex education in the schools if you want to, but Billy just told me that he resulted when your sperm met my omelet.'

the Carpenters greatest hits...

Future Opera

"Frankincense you fool...."

Early director's cut of Alien featuring Humpty Dumpty

'Oh well, at least it's breaking up the banks.'

"No, this is not 'returns,' and that's not a receipt … it's a birth certificate!"

Little Women in Love in the Time of Cholera

Gone with the Wind in the Willows

"Please forgive me, I seem to have misplaced my spectacles. Will the happy couple please step forward?"

"Jekyll & Heidi"

'You're right. It does look infected. But I'm just the janitor.'

I see you're still on that subway diet.

"Will you please stop eating that! The crunching is annoying."

"Alright Mr. Caldwell, you're all sewn up. Please be sure to fill out the online survey and don't forget to tip. Thanks."

Vanpires

"Do you call this a party! I've been to livelier funerals!"

Assassin/Cartoonist

Alternative acupuncture.

Whoops! I've brought the wrong husband home from the shops.

The Spencer Brothers: Heavy Wood or Light Metal?

Animal Hospital.

"Ah...I see your mistake. We're, Proctor and Proctor. You're looking for the proctologist, next door."