Mashed Potato Artist Gifts

'He's not melting. That's because he's made of mashed potatoes.'

Night of the Latkes

"Honey, where did you put my Green Lantern cufflinks?!"

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what is good on Netflix.

Hello-BUNS OF STEEL?

"I made him out of my mom's mashed potatoes. Since there's no snow, I had to improvise."

I think he's joking. "Placebo" can't be a real medical science term. It sounds like a funny name for a clown.

"I have a job! I'm an 'I reporter!'"

'I don't care how comfortable you feel with me. This reels weird for a first date.'

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

Mash-Test Dummies.

'He does what he wants - I blame that new manager, Mourinho!'

"They're not as scary on casual Friday."

"You know, dear, planting your base in a chair and eating chicken is not 'plant-based' eating."

'Remember, your father may be here physically, but mentally he's attending the NCAA tournament.'

'Flipping the remote and clicking the mouse are his low-impact aerobics.'

'Here, you can have my fly trap.I already have one.'

Yawn

"It's lunchtime! Have you finished saying 'Good Morning' on your WhatsApp Groups?"

'I hope you don't mind the broccoli -- I couldn't find a carrot.'

Use it or lose it.

Success Without Effort

"If you really loved me, you'd give me the remote."

Brenda tests to see if Karl can truly handle the low points of living together.

'You'd be good at yoga. The first thing you do is empty your mind.'

"I need a companion."

"I never use the oven timer. The smoke alarms are louder."

"No, Fred didn't run a TV marathon - He watched a marathon on TV."

'I swear Marge! If that little punk comes back in here and pushes all them buttons again, i'm gonna kill him!' - Life in the elevator.

'No need to worry about the volcano - it's not very active.'

'Hello, 911? It's my husband! I don't know what's wrong with him. He said there's nothing on TV and he just wants to talk!'

Grave with satellite dish.

A punk rocks out to a John Denver song on karaoke night.

"You claim you walk 20 feet, 10 times a day. I'm guessing that's the distance from your TV to the refrigerator."