Martial Arts Fan Gifts

"What did I tell you about practicing on the cat?"

I kid you not, if he calls me 'grasshopper' one more time, I'm cleaning his clock.

"...you're telling me you think it knows kung-fu as well."

'A couple of the other dads and I were thinking of starting up a fight club. . . you in?'

Bruce Lee after bathing his cat

No one ever tried to rob the Samurai Bank.

Man practising karate is tempted by a glass of beer.

Karataoke

'I just dreamt that I was the world, kung fu champion!'

'I thought you were supposed to break the wood with your hand, not the other way around.'

"Back off. I got house keys and I'm not afraid to use them."

"Hi-yah!"

"There might be some scarring."

'His karate instructor has seen great improvement and suggests we don't make him angry.'

The Karate Kitten.

'It's not fair - he always chooses her to demonstrate on...'

Death by stupidity.

'Careful, he might have been declawed, but he still knows Karate...'

Armed to the teeth.

"Predators go for the easiest prey, so if you pretend to know karate, they'll tend to avoid you. . ."

"No! Your dukes...Put up your dukes!"

"I am in training for the sales."

Ninja Mom: 'Boys if you cant say something with a sword, don't say anything.'

Weight Reducing Clinic. Plan B, Sumo Wrestling Classes.

"I told you not to name the fish Bruce Lee..."

Ninja

Ninja Headquarters: "We're watching you. This will help us know which one is you."

"This might be a stick-up...but first...do you know karate or are you just in your robe?"

'Since when do WORMS know martial arts?'

Ninja collapsed through ceiling onto table thinking "...like cat. Ninja is like cat."

Wilbert wished he's taken those karate classes instead.

Doug finally got a chance to use his karate and he forgot to make the ceremonial bow.'

"Yes dear, I know I've been taking self-defence classes to deal with this kind of situation. But this is my karate instructor."

'Jackie Chan caught you? Now, that's a coincidence - Charlie Chan caught me!'

'Okay - imagine you're a bailiff coming at me with a repossession order.'