Marshmallow Challenger Prints

"Attention, please: We are now offering $100 travel vouchers to any ticketholders able to fit more than twenty jumbo marshmallows in their mouth at one time."

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

Marshmallows

Harsh Mellows.

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

"Dad! Dad! It's freezing out here! I wish we had a fireplace to get all cozy and roast marshmallows!"

"My calculations are complete. We could toast 12,000 marshmallows every day for every person on earth for 36,000 years with one solar flare."

"It was a dark and stormy night, for the Wi-Fi was down."

'The Torch Holder'.

'Marshmallows ready! Now for the roasting...'

"I don't know, maybe I'm just being mallowdramatic."

'Aren't these marshmallows just going to make us plumper for when the bears ultimately eat us?'

'Your father's a genius kids. First he discovered fire and now marshmallows.'

The lesser known active volcanoes.

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

"Really? You mean you’ve never smoked a joint?"

'I've got it written down...'

"I have no idea where we parked the car, or why we exist."

The Burning Bush: How God convinced Moses to Lead His people a.k.a. the origin of s'mores.

"He must be a pro. He's got his own stick."

Trickle down

1% Cereal: Now with marshmallow dollar signs.

'I have your MRI results. Half your brain is clogged with passwords and the other half is clogged with user names.'

Emergency box in woods contains supplies for a campfire.

"Why won’t you just admit you forgot where you parked the car?"

Marshmallow Roast

"Thanks, I'll write that down."

'By the way, no one has ever beaten me and lived to tell about it.'

"First beach?"

"I can do this all day, marshmallow. I have a bright life ahead of me. You, on the other hand... I'm not so sure."

Scary Marshmallow Campfire Stories.

'How come you keep forgetting when it's your round?'