Marriage Challenges Pillows

"She says I'm indecisive,but I don't know."

Businessman threatening to sack his wife.

"Death, death, death! That's all he ever talks about!"

"I think my wife's trying to tell me something. She gave me a gift card to a Florist!"

"My wife tried to lock me out once."

'Yeah... It's a wedding ring... I wear it on the wrong finger because I'm married to the wrong man.'

'Share your innermost feelings or the remote gets it.'

J.D. Perkins, Civil Union Counselor.

'The Morning after the bridge night before.'

'I took my wife to the tunnel of love...She told me to wait outside.'

'What happened to your face?' - 'A lover's tiff. My wife found out I had one.'

"Well yes, I've been away for a long time, but you knew I worked on a Pirate Ship when we got married..."

'The only thing we have in common is that we're in love with the same woman.'

"I only found out about it on our, 'honey full moon'!"

"After 20 years of marriage we'd like to get away from it all...including each other!"

"Oh, Harold would never divorce me. I hold the key to his heart. . . and one to a certain safety deposit box!"

"Yes, of course you can borrow Gerald's lawnmower, but only if you take him too."

"Why not give it another 24 hours?"

"It says we should try taking an immediate and complete break from physical sex."

"Dear Alice: in response to your accusation...."

"Did you like my cooking tonight?"

'She hates to see me happy.'

"No, no, no-stay as late as you want. In fact, divorce me."

"The law is a jealous mistress, something wives just have to understand."

"The end of my wife's rope is near"

"I knew it, ….sooner or later you'd play the ex-wife card."

"I was TOO listening. I just wasn't caring."

"Passive-aggressive isn't a problem. It's the passive-passive that I can't handle."

'My wife is frigid!'

'We don't text anymore.'

"I don't understand...What's come between us?"

'Why can't you be happy with a pair of socks like other men.'

'Sometimes I feel like I don't even know you anymore, George... Or is it, Dave?'

'My wife ran off with my best friend...I really miss him.'

'Have I been seeing other women? - I can't help it if they keep leaving their SHADES up!'