Marksman Humorist Gifts

"So, how was your day at work, Dear?"

'It's an extinction notice.'

Big Hank's shooting gallery.

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

"Looks like your rock cakes are a big hit this year, dear...."

Well yes, I am a Blue Whale, but that doesn't mean I'm depressed...

"Some idiot spread the rumour that the boss had called in sick! Now look what's happened to the tobacco and coffee stocks!"

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

This is where Brent council sends you

'I got one this small.'

"Today, the yen shot up on news it is spelled differently from the 'Yuan'."

A man shoots at a drone.

Bullets Bulls in the form of Bullets

So, how are you planning on eating that?

"Don't be afraid of sharks. They generally attack only when provoked."

'Today stocks dropped on news that the only thing to fear is everything.'

"Bullets seem like overkill. What if I shot him with staples?"

'Well, we've been under a lot of pressure lately.'

"I'm doing my part to conserve electricity."

Musical arrows.

"Face it, William - you're shit at it!"

"I live in dread of being mistaken for an undersea energy cable."

"Another impulse purchase?"

Global Warming.

'In today's stocks... small caps rose on news big company stocks fell...'

Cupid with sniper rifle.

"Oooooh, you should smile more often. It suits you"

Fingerlings.

Colonel Bagshot.

'I'm still a bit hungry: I don't think I've had more than four tons of krill this morning...'

It looks like you been fighting. You should take an anchor management class.

"I went with the flow and wound up in the French quarter."

'I don't know why I let you talk me into such hare-brained schemes...darn it,missed again!'