Marketing Director T-Shirts

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

Advertising Agency - "...It was more moving than Martin Luther King's speech. But...will it sell dog food?"

'We have what might be a very good idea...'

"Gentlemen, let's do lunch."

Catesby's Fyrework Company: 'You're the Marketing Manager, Fawkes - Devise some sort of advertising campaign.'

"Well so much for our policy of putting the customer second!"

"Heads we market globally, tails we fire locally."

'Since that was the two weeks you were on vacation last year, Simms, we're giving you a six week vacation this year.'

'If I may say so, business is booming.'

'We're plowing our excess profits back into justifying our profits.'

"Does anyone here have a clue what it is we used to get?"

'Guess who was just named Marketing Director for THE ENTIRE DARK SIDE OF THE PLANET?!'

Work incentives.

'Once you're over the Alps you're going to need a marketing director.'

'Wow!! Do I ever like the flavour of the month!!'

'Don't worry, I'm not going to jump. I'm just screwing with the media.'

"Not only did we get the account we snagged 'Best in Show' too."

Signs: Sales, Profit and Media coverage.

NFT Marketing Department

Maps to all the corporate trap doors for sale here!

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

"In the absence of an alternative strategy Norman is sacrificing a goat to the God of retail next door."

"See, Wilkinshaw. . . I told you you'd be in charge of our marketing campaign!"

'Now go out there and sell yourself!'

'In today's world, our company must be prepared for anything.'

"Maybe we should have another look at the 'business as usual' idea."

They loved the presentation on competing in the marketplace.

'Lucy just flew in from Adland.'

'I'm sending him out to drum up new business.'

'It's creative as hell! Now that you've got that out of your system, give me a campaign that will sell.'

'...and this is our Director of Mobile Marketing.'

Sales used to be through the roof, now they're through the floor.

'Okay, we've got 1 CEO, 4 assistant directors, 7 department managers, 3 IT-managers, 2 marketing directors, 3 personnel managers and 2 service managers. Now we just have to find out what we want to produce.'

My latest invention is genius. It's an affinity card for our best customers. That's not a new idea. Airlines, rental car agencies, hotels … They all have loyalty programs where you can earn discounts and special treatment. Spare me. Ours has a way better name: The Cafe Exclusive VIP Premier Executive Best Customer Reward Program. And we don't trouble customers with confusing discounts and benefits. All hail the VIP premier cheapskate.

"Any ideas on how to convince the public that we're cute?"